Tolkien and Boobs


"I am Jimmy Tolkien, and I approve this message."

Editing does strange things to the mind. I was chatting online with one of my editors that hasn’t finished his run at the novel yet. I mentioned that it would be good if he could finish before I need to actually send it in. The following conversation ensued. This is slightly NSFW – just a heads up.

Him: what’s gonna happen is I’m going to read all but the last few chapters before you send it in, but then see a huge hilarious typo (like, you typed “boobs” when you meant “consternation”) and it’ll have already been mailed in.

Me:  “Boobs” is a standard fantasy word, though. I’m not afraid of that one. Tolkien used it all the time.

Him: what about “Brazilian happy-knockers”? Darn it autocorrect!

Me: I prefer bozombas. It has a Latin feel.

Me, later: Mind if I copy-paste that part of the convo about Tolkien and boobs for a post later on?

Him: shoot go for it

Me: Hooray! “By Tolkien’s titties!”

Him: ? Was he fat?

Me: Not that I know of, but it sounds like a great exclamation. “By the hoary hosts of Hoggoth!”

Him: By the tassels of Tolkien’s turgid titties!

Me: …that is epic.

Him: worthy of Tolkien?

Me: Sure. We’ll go with that.


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