Not again

Rock. Sand. Sun.

Perfect place for a Tracer to burn.

His quarry had tainted him with her hopelessness. Freaking vulnerability. He hated this part.

Fewer emotion-lines floated in the air here. Lighting his cigarette, he eyed them. Regret burned the brightest.

When the ashes glowed red-hot, he pushed the end into the dark blue line. The ember lit like a ghostly fuse. It burned around him, a thin snake coiling around its prey. He watched it climb. Closing his eyes, he welcomed the heat that touched his forehead.

Death bundled him up and took him from all the failures and regret he’d carried on his now-abandoned body.

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6 responses to “Not again

  1. Welcome back!

    When I went through this story with you, you had a lot more about what a Tracer is — I gotta say, I still love the concept. You seem to have lost some of that in this draft… of course, I might be to blame for that. [whistles while walking away…]

    It’s still a great concept and this might make a great “prologue” to a bigger story!

  2. Help me out, Jon or Annabeth. What’s goin on here? Are we watching non-corporeal entities hunt each other using disdained bodies?

    By the way, that pic looks just like an Arizona summer.

    • When Annabeth started, it was well over twice this size. In her editing, she lost some of the clarity of the bigger story. She wanted to stab at microfiction, though! I’ll let her explain what’s going on, since I know more due to my familiarity with earlier drafts.

  3. Hoo, lots of comments! Love it, thanks everyone!

    This microfiction did lose a lot in the editing. (*coughcoughJoncough*) But I wanted to try my hand at microfiction. I still have work to do, but I wouldn’t know that without feedback! 🙂

    This is a prologue to a much, much larger story (which I’m working on now). So I’ll be posting more as I develop the story further. But the idea is that Tracers can track people by their emotions. The true Tracers (think CIA-level secret agents) are able to mask their own emotions. But this one…he just couldn’t get it under control in this lifetime. And this isn’t his first lifetime.

    I’m open to feedback on this premise!

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