Library bag sales are wonderful opportunities to buy things you would, under normal circumstances, never even glance at. This particular offered one paper grocery bag filled with your choice of books for $3. My wife and I walked out with sixty-three books. Some are books that are well worth the entirety of the $6 we paid. For instance, we got a 1929 edition of Bambi — the book the Disney movie is based off of, “recommended for sportsmen.”
Such a sale lets us pick up known clunkers for the fun of it. My wife grabbed an obviously self-published novel. I’m not releasing the title nor the author, but I’d like to offer the first few sentences. The first three pages are one paragraph (generally a bad sign), so I’m not copying the first paragraph. I offer them here to be taken apart. What would you do different? What rules do you see broken? I’ll answer what I see in the comments after a bit. If you’d like, rewrite what you see!
The night was as close to complete blackness as was possible during the course of a month. It was a new moon so although the moon was present in the sky, it was jet black and attributed no help in illuminating the night sky. Only, the faint twinkle of stars and the steady small dull glow of satellites lit the night sky for a faint trace of light. The wind was completely still like the calm before a storm. Several coyotes can faintly be heard yipping and howling in the distance from a recent kill that appeared to be a team effort. A small slim figure moves ever so slowly in the desert sand but it is barely discernable from the cactus and sparse vegetation which dots the landscape.