“Do you choose to wear your costume as you go courting?”
“It’s called a date. I’m going on a date. And it’s a uniform.” Si tugged the sky-blue spandex stretched over his great girth. His lip curled downward. “Not like I could take it off.”
“Yes, my courageous friend, but perhaps you could wear a suit over it,” Magisaur offered, gesturing with his tiny arms.
“Right. Just like when you complain about your costume. You could take off your crown, you know.”
“Hush. If I took off my crown or royal cloak, none would know that I was the only dinosaur to bring Baby Jesus gifts in Bethlehem.”
“Because so many people know now.” Si grinned.
“And many rejoice at the exploits of Siberian Husky, the only sub-Russian superhero known for his prodigious gut?” The man-sized T-rex answered with a much, much larger grin.
The roommates stared at each other for a long time. Magisaur growled low in his cavernous throat. Si answered with a wintry stare. The clock on the mantle tocked – it never ticked, it only tocked – as the seconds passed.
Finally Magisaur shrugged into his royal purple robe. “Accept my wisdom: Adorn yourself with a tie, at the least. Exert some effort. Who has the pleasure of this date, if I may?”
“The Unremarkable Samantha X?”
“You know another one?” Si slipped into his bedroom and searched through his closet. “Remind me again why I have so much clothing when all I can wear is spandex?”
“We courted once, you know,” Magisaur mused in the living room.
“Really? Must have been before we were roomies. What was she like?”
“Unremarkable. She grew angry when I gave her cause, was loving when I brought her gifts most rare, and most enjoyed our prolonged times of kissing.”
Si stuck his head out of his room, a bright yellow tie half-knotted around his neck. “Wait. Human characters kiss you?”
The dinosaur shrugged. “Some theorize I possess an animal magnetism.”
“Gross. I would never kiss a dinosaur.” Si finished the knot and let the tie hang over his ballooning belly. “I suppose the yellow doesn’t really go with the costume, huh?”
“I am told it is a uniform, not a costume.”
“Shut up.” Si muttered to himself, “This is going to be a terrible date.”
“No, my friend. You go to court Samantha X. Trust my wisdom: The date will be most unremarkable.”
This is a Barrelbottom Tale.