Siberian Husky on Report

Siberian Husky repositioned his great spandexed girth in the small chair and frowned. “What was your name again?”

“Jessica. I’m trying to write about all the supers and what they do to protect Barrelbottom.” The dumpy woman smiled a dumpy smile. “I mean, with so many supers around, there’s no safer place to be in fiction or reality. And someone should chronicle all of that!”

“Hm.” Si scratched one of his chins and looked around the nondescript office. The promise of pay was enough to bring him here, but telling his story wasn’t exactly what he had in mind. “You can always head down to the bookbutchery and get our backgrounds there.”

“Oh, I don’t want your backgrounds. I don’t want the stories you were dumped from. I want to know who you’ve become since you escaped your author’s mind.”

“Escaped?”

Jessica waved the question away. “Everyone has a backstory. I’m not interested in backstories, though. No one reads a book for the great backstory. They read about what’s going on now. And tell me, Siberian Husky, what’s going on now? What adventures have you gone on? What damsels have you swooped in to save? What new powers have you unearthed?” She leaned over the desk, a dumpy smile on her face. “Tell me Siberian Husky, have you revealed your secret identity to your one true love?”

Si leaned back in the chair, sweat starting to bead on his forehead. “Ah, I think you might want to talk to Trajan or Paradize or one of the bigger supers. I haven’t done much of anything but stand on a roof a lot.”

“I see.” Jessica sketched some words into a notepad. “Tell me about your power set, if you would.”

“Hm. I can withstand great cold without pain. I still get the flu pretty easy, though. I can stand my ground. If I take something between my teeth, it’s near impossible to get it away from me. It’s really just a strange set, if you ask me. And not very useful. There’s a reason I was rejected.”

Jessica rolled her eyes. “People love strange power sets. It makes them think of themselves. If such a weirdo can win against a big bad villain, maybe they have a chance, too.” She kept scratching more notes onto her notepad. “Tell me more. Any weaknesses?”

“When you don’t have big powers, you really don’t need weaknesses,” Si sighed. “I doubt my author got far enough to give me a fatal flaw, if that’s what you’re thinking. Anyway, I never found one.”

Jessica frowned. “And your uniform?”

“Yeah. Pretty basic.” He looked down at the pale blue spandex stretched over his body. A stylized pattern of a dog’s head adorned his chest. White underwear and boots completed the look. “I can’t even get the stupid thing off.”

“So, you’ve never been on an adventure?”

“Unless you count failing several dates.”

More furious scribbling. “And who is your greatest villain?”

Si paused. He looked out the window. He opened his mouth. He closed it. He looked down. “Honestly?”

“That’s what I’m looking for here.”

Si looked down. He whispered, “My author.”

Jessica stopped scribbling. “Your author?”

“He’s the only one who’s been able to defeat me. And he did it… he did it by just not caring. I mean, if a standard villain didn’t care, that would be his fatal flaw, right? He writes me off as insignificant, I sneak up behind him, hit him with some sort of ironic weapon, and I win.” Si shook his head. “But my author? He exiles me on a whim.” He sighed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be going into this with you. It’s not what you’re looking for.”

Jessica offered a sad smile. “No. It’s ok. This gives an honest look into the mind of a Barrelbottom super.” She gazed into Si’s eyes for a moment, holding his gaze. “What do you think you’d do to your author if you got the chance? Since he’s your greatest villain.”

Si thought for a moment. “I don’t know. I don’t think I want him to write me anymore. I mean, I’m sure I’d just be a joke in whatever story he’d pen. Here I’m a joke, but at least I’m hink you’d do to your author if you got the chance? Since he’s your greatest villain.”

Si thought for a moment. “I don’t know. I don’t think I want him to write me anymore. I mean, I’m sure I’d just be a joke in whatever story he’d pen. Here I’m a joke, but at least I’m my joke, you know?”

“Sure.” Jessica nodded. She wrote some more. “Thank you, Siberian Husky. You’ve told me all I need for now. May I call you later if I think of more questions?”

Si stood. “Sure. I don’t know why not.”

“Here.” Jessica offered some cash – the agreed-on amount. “Thank you for your time.”

Si took the cash and plodded out of the office.

As the door shut, Jessica sat at her desk. Atop the notes for Siberian Husky, she noted, “Already on our side.”

This is a Barrelbottom Tale

Siberian Husky was last seen in Siberian Husky on Patrol. He next appears in Siberian Husky and the Average Rescue

Jessica was last seen in All the Wrong Places…. kind of. She returns in Manufacturing Weather

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6 responses to “Siberian Husky on Report

  1. Pingback: Manufacturing Weather | Seeking the New Earth

  2. Pingback: Barrelbottom Tales | Seeking the New Earth

  3. Pingback: Siberian Husky on Patrol | Seeking the New Earth

  4. Pingback: All the Wrong Places | Seeking the New Earth

  5. Pingback: Siberian Husky and the Average Rescue | Seeking the New Earth

  6. Pingback: Assuming an Average Identity | Seeking the New Earth

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