Specks: Part 2

Version 2-1

When he finally got his wits around him again, Peter realized that he could figure out what was going on by eavesdropping on the police investigations and reports. He got up unsteadily from the bleachers and meandered his way over to the nearest police officer, who was busy interrogating Sebastian, as the report read. Peter knew he didn’t like this boy but he wasn’t sure why.

“Would you care to explain what you know of today’s events to me?” The police officer was asking Sebastian.

“I don’t know much more than anyone else…I was just a few feet closer. Specks was running after a tennis ball when he tripped on something and fell over the balcony. I ran downstairs to help, but there was nothing to be done. He was already dead.”

“Would your relationship with Peter,” Sebastian’s jaw tightened minutely. “Have had any effect on these events?”

“No. No one was close enough to have pushed him when he fell. Not even me.”

The policeman knew he had struck gold, but he kept his face carefully impassive. “Who else was near you?”

“I don’t know…A few of my friends, I guess.”

“Okay. You’re good. Go home and rest now. It’s been quite a day for this gym class, I’ll say.”

Sebastian headed off towards freedom while Peter craned his neck to read the police officer’s report over his shoulder.

This suspect clearly knows more than he’s letting on. I believe Sebastian pushed Peter (nicknamed Specks), deceased, over the balcony. I said nothing about the suspicion that someone pushed Peter, but Sebastian supplied this himself, and denied it firmly. I sent him home.

‘Sebastian pushed me over the balcony?’ Peter thought. It seemed so unbelievable, but as Peter thought about it more, something about it seemed oddly familiar, like this really might have happened.


Version 2-2

Burlington Post

Boy Dies in Tragic Accident

Peter Jenks, a sophomore at Burlington High School, will be remembered this Saturday after his death. On Thursday, the 25th of May, he accidentally tripped and fell over the gym balcony railing, witnesses say. Police are currently investigating the possibility of foul play.

When asked what had happened, Julia Palmer said, “I don’t really know. We were practicing tennis serving and then we all heard a loud thump. It was unmistakable as to what it was.”

After the boy fell, the gym teacher, Mr. Grindel, made a valiant effort to revive Peter with CPR, but nothing worked. Peter Jenks was pronounced dead at the scene at approximately 3:04 PM.

If you have any information at all pertaining to this case, please call the Burlington County Police Headquarters.

Peter Michael Jenks (1994-2009)

Peter Michael Jenks was a boy with so much promise. He never backed down, brave in the face of turmoil. He died last Thursday afternoon after an accidental fall from the gym balcony.

During his short but inspirational life, Peter was involved in a nubmer of school activities. He attended Burlington High School, where he earned all A’s consistently. He participated in a variety of academic programs, such as Science Club, Robotics Club, Book Club, Chess Club, Japanese Club, and Swing Dance Club. He also played French horn in the school’s concert band.

Peter’s dad has one request: “If you know anything, anything at all about my son’s death, please come forward. If my son’s death was truly an accident, I can accept that. If it wasn’t…”

His mother, Cheryllyn, also made a confident statement of hope: “He was always a good kid…We  love him so much! We are positive that he’s waiting for us in Heaven, though.”

Peter’s memorial service will be held at St. Agnes Catholic Church at 7:00 PM on Saturday, May 27th. His funeral will be the same day, but will be held privately.


Well, enjoy, everyone! I especially had fun learning how to write an obit that sounded legit. Hope no one looks through my search history…They’d think I’m a murderer or something! Happy editing! And another cute picture!


One thought on “Specks: Part 2

  1. Your first option seems to have more story hook in it. I understand why the police might think foul play — it’s kinda their job — but in the second option, why would the dad think there was foul play? It just seems kind of odd.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s