Bookcation, Part 4, wherein we finally get inside the bookstore

And then we went inside.

Inside the bookstore we found more books. It’s shocking, I know, but you can never tell with these things. Perhaps the entire building was a bibliovore-eating monstrosity, and the wagons outside full of books were just bait to catch us. And then we would have died happy, clutching our new books as we were slowly digested over a thousand years.

Sarlaac pits use books to lure people in, right?

I might be waving my geek flag a little high up the pole.

What were we talking about again?

Some of you will get this. And if you do, you’re awesome.

So we found The Destruction of the Books. It’s about a librarian who works at the Vault of All Known Knowledge who discovers a book in goblin hands, which propels him into a big adventure that may well lead to the destruction of all the books. Which means the threat level is like way above destruction of the world. Anyway, it has a librarian protagonist in a fantasy setting, which just screams “READ ME” to me.

Sadly, no books on the cover. There really, really should be. Unless the cover really tells what the inside is about, in which case I’ll be really disappointed.

Then I found a trio of Fred Saberhagen books for a buck each. After the FactBerserker Blue Deathand The Berserker Throne. Apparently Berserkers are these massive machines that are programmed to destroy all life, and they’re powerful enough to do it. So that sounds nice. The First Book of Lost Swords included a nifty essay in the back comparing the Lost Swords to Saberhagen’s Berserkers, so I’m looking forward to these.

Like I’m looking forward to all the books.

Jeez. Can I find a time tesseract to sit in until I’ve read them all? Seriously, it’s more than ridiculous.

Abraham Lincoln and time travel go together like an elephant and yo mama. Which really means that this book’s enjoyment factor may vary a great amount depending on how fit your mother is.

It’s one of those covers. Seriously, so many sci-fi books had covers exactly like this. Right now I’m thinking of the cover of my complete Dying Earth saga by Jack Vance…

I have no idea what this cover is showing me, other than the fact that Frank Herbert likes it. Spicy!

And then we ran out of science fiction and fantasy.

No, just kidding! But we bought other things, too. Like Pirate Hunters. It’s not what you think. Depending who you are, it’s even more awesome. This book is about the hunt for a sunken pirate ship in modern nautical history. It tells how you find a lost galleon and all that nifty stuff. Guess what?

I’m looking forward to reading it.

Like, duh. Do I buy books I’m not looking forward to reading? Actually, I do, but usually those are intended as gifts for people I believe will actually enjoy them. So 😛

Arr, matey!

And then we found Gypsy Rizka by Lloyd Alexander. I really don’t recall what it’s about, but it’s Lloyd Alexander. He wrote the Chronicles of Prydain. That should be enough for you. If someone’s written something that grand and epic and moving, and he publishes a book of his grocery lists, you should buy it, because he deserves it.

I don’t think this is a grocery list, though it may contain one. Maybe two. I don’t think so, though. It looks like a fun story about a fictional nation and a girl who gets into trouble a lot. It also involves a ghost.

Do you have authors like that? People you pick up just on reflex? We’ve collected several authors like that.

Well, we don’t pick up the authors. I’m sure they’re very fine people, but my Bride would probably get jealous if I picked up Lloyd Alexander at a bar or something. Or if I collected authors, like I had a cryogenic storage unit in the back that I just slipped authors into, thawing them out anytime I felt the need to get a new novel out of them. Or hive-minding them together to create ever better works. I hear that’s what they attempted with the Stephen King hivemind project, but that one backfired.

Stephen King, to my knowledge, had nothing to do with the making of this particular book. I don’t think Lloyd Alexander has ever taken part in any hivemind experiment.

My Bride splurged. Last year we found The Black Prism by Brent Weeks. Here’s the pocket review: Read it. Seriously. Just go read it. It’s awesome.

Well, Weeks also wrote The Night Angel Trilogy. My Bride recently finished book one of that. So, of course, she had to purchase books two and three. And she did. And now we own them. They’re all about an assassin and pudding and hair dressers or something. I don’t know. I didn’t read book one yet; talk to my Bride. I’m sure they’re scintillating.

Actually, Brent Weeks wrote them. I’m sure they’re good. As long as he doesn’t sign up to join any hiveminds…

It’s kewl. You can’t tell, but he’s gritting his teeth. Serious fantasy, y’all.

Actually, I think I should write a serious fantasy where everyone talks like a hillbilly. Can you imagine Aragorn? “There’ll come a day when the hearts o’ men will quake, but it won’t be this day, nosiree!” Cast Foghorn Leghorn as Boromir? Oh, yeah. That’s the good stuff!

And then I splurged. I’ve become something of an L. Frank Baum fan. He wrote the Oz books, at least the beginning of them. Most people know the movie and maybe Wicked at this point, but Baum created a sprawling world of fantasy lands, including crossovers with his own works. There’s a devoted fan base to this day. (If you’re curious, the recent adaptations from Marvel comics are actually incredibly well done and faithful; look them up.)

Anyway, my Bride found The Magical Monarch of Mo, which came out the same year as the very first Oz book. This is a collection of stories that all take place in a land called, well, Mo. They’ll be filled with frivolity and fun and probably some good surprises.

I love that they reproduce the original covers.

And then, more to my cup of tea, she found a print copy of Glinda of Oz, the last Oz book Baum penned before he died.

Look, guys, if you like the movie or Wicked or whatever, good for you, but the originals have such charm and creativity. And you gotta suffer through the first few which everyone knows the major storybeats from so you can get to the “new” stuff. And this is the last one. Baum generally just got better as he went on, and every book has a totally different plot, and often enough an entirely new cast of characters. This is one I’ll be reading with my kids.

Yeah, you can tell a lot by the illustration style, but the stories are just magical.

And after all that… we decided to go back to the B&B for some actual sleep. And pouring over the books to discover what treasures we bought but didn’t realize at the time.

The next day we continued our quest for books… our never ending quest…

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